put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
