People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
