Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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