drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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