I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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