you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
