They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize