Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
