I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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