he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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