I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
