there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
accomplished twins. life is a go
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
