dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
