we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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