So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
