whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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