Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Randomize
