There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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