no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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