think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
