her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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