Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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