How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
