He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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