There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
