I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
