mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
