What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
