I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize