You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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