At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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