come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Randomize
