I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
