I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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