I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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