Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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