Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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