so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
