I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
