Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
