You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
