Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
