Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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