WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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