Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
