You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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