You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
