even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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