for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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