At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
