Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she looked like the before picture.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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