How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
