Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You can't special order awesome
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
