I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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