Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
