We won't sleep together?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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