i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize