Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
