you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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