yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
