Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize