I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
