Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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