That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The air taste purple.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
