just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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