bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
